To be honest, this is already done. My blogs are filled with information explaining what's going on in my life currently. Here's the thing, at first I thought I should scrap it all and start over, then again, it isn't as though I have better resources now than I did when I was last blogging with any regularity. I'm not going to have a polished and pretty web presence and I'm down with that. Around here it isn't about how shiny it is anyway, it's about honest content, and reality isn't always pretty. So, in a way, it makes sense that my blogs aren't pretty and "perfect" (which is illusory and stagnant when you think about it), they're full of truth and grit. This ain't Instagram, welcome to the world of the REAL.
The thing I think might need clarity is that I have a different intent with my blogging now than I ever have before. I've always done it as a hobby, no one ever saw any of it and I was OK with that. I had one site, a sort of "Ask Me Anything" or general advice site, those people will always be able to reach me, well, not the new ones, it's temporarily down. In fact I removed a couple of my old sites to really focus on the ones that might be more productively used.
I realize I am a little bit scattered right now, I'm certain to edit this later. In the meantime, rather than agonizing over it's perfect production, let me do what I'm good at and just be totally realistic and straight-forward. Just, you know, honest.
I am having trouble finding work. I've never had trouble finding work before so this is new to me. Take into account all the excitement going on in my life, detailed in my websites:
Rain Boots & Random Acts, Being a blog-site that gives an account of the events that landed my daughter and I homeless as well as some of the things that have kept us there. It isn't the story you think it is, of course you won't know just how wildly different it is than your expectations unless you dig in.
AND
The Round Peg Project, Being a blog-site covering how I culled my own skills as an experimental anthropologist to take on an ethnographic, full immersion, covert study of a "Tiny Housing Community" meant to be a transitional "community" to help people get on their feet. Trust me, it was anything BUT a community. Again, it won't be what you expect. From assault to fraud to unreported death, there are turns and twists that'll blow your mind.
Taking that into account it's clear to see that, well...perhaps I should have stayed with the Carnival. I wouldn't be here trying desperately to settle in and offer my daughter and I some semblance of normalcy. However, she's desperate for it and her health demands it, as has mine in the past couple of years or so. As desperate as I know things are for so many of us these days I'm still seeing people getting loads of support doing online work. I've looked and looked and done some freelancing but have found nothing permanent. The point with all this is that I know there's money out there and I know there are jobs out there, many of which I am over-qualified for but happy to take at half the pay. I just need a chance.
I'm not trying to make a little extra money to buy my dad a boat or build a better office, I'm trying to be a productive, hard working member of society. I WANT TO PAY TAXES!!! I also want to remember what it's like to have plumbing, to use a flushing toilette would be amazing to me. I want to sit in a chair, a regular chair. I haven't had a chair or a place to put one since 2016, not to mention a table. We have adjusted and readjusted calling it all grateful abundance as we kept on losing more and more. Every time we lose something, we come up with three somethings we are grateful for. Going on five years of positive vibrations and false hopes has been exhausting, yet we persist.
If I'm being honest, I'm edging ever closer to the end of my tether and mostly it's because I know there is a place for us out there in the world. I know there is a job out there, many jobs, that I am more than capable of doing and right now, I feel as though I've tried everything, if you don't believe me, read my blogs and then, if you want to help, please do. Ways to help are all over the sites as well and everything is appreciated. Believe me when I say, we aren't sitting on our hands waiting for miracles, we'd have to believe in them for that. If we didn't actually need help, I wouldn't be humiliating myself and dehumanizing myself further, and for Pete's sake, by choice, if the situation wasn't pretty desperate.
So, yes, if this all seems a little desperate, that's because it is. It's out of my comfort zone but this is just where the times have brought me, I'm a survivor and right now, our survival could use assistance. Which brings me to another point, these are the stories of a survivor, not of a person who has ever been rescued, there was a time I took pride in that. I'd hear of people going through horrible abuse or just horrible times in general and think, I can totally relate to that. Of course then they got adopted, or were handed their dream job on a silver platter or were in some other way, rescued. I have also heard people say, "I'm totally self made. I achieved success without any help at all." Then their Mom comes and drops off groceries and picks up their laundry to take it home and do it for them. There are very few who really DID do it on their own.
Well, clearly I have finally reached a point where I am failing on my own, it's more like a C- or a D grade, not a total fail. So here I am looking for whatever help I can get. I know it's out there. The times have changed as well. I get people who had some troubles "back in the day," they like to proclaim that they were in dire circumstances and managed just fine. They aren't taking into account that back then, you could get a full time job at Dairy Queen and buy a house in less than a year with your Dairy Queen income.
At any rate, it's all here, it's all in these websites. Like I mentioned at the beginning, I didn't scrap everything, I thought that technically, my writing shows some of my progression over time, I used to be so angry, it's kinda funny to read now. So enjoy, have fun, if you can help, great, if not, great, if you are even here I will consider it a miracle. As many explanations as there are planted all over the place on these blog-sites know this, if you still aren't happy with the answers or you want to know more or if you know of a job, feel free to contact me via any of the contact pages on any of these sites.
Your time and consideration are greatly appreciated.
I realize I am a little bit scattered right now, I'm certain to edit this later. In the meantime, rather than agonizing over it's perfect production, let me do what I'm good at and just be totally realistic and straight-forward. Just, you know, honest.
I am having trouble finding work. I've never had trouble finding work before so this is new to me. Take into account all the excitement going on in my life, detailed in my websites:
Rain Boots & Random Acts, Being a blog-site that gives an account of the events that landed my daughter and I homeless as well as some of the things that have kept us there. It isn't the story you think it is, of course you won't know just how wildly different it is than your expectations unless you dig in.
AND
The Round Peg Project, Being a blog-site covering how I culled my own skills as an experimental anthropologist to take on an ethnographic, full immersion, covert study of a "Tiny Housing Community" meant to be a transitional "community" to help people get on their feet. Trust me, it was anything BUT a community. Again, it won't be what you expect. From assault to fraud to unreported death, there are turns and twists that'll blow your mind.
Taking that into account it's clear to see that, well...perhaps I should have stayed with the Carnival. I wouldn't be here trying desperately to settle in and offer my daughter and I some semblance of normalcy. However, she's desperate for it and her health demands it, as has mine in the past couple of years or so. As desperate as I know things are for so many of us these days I'm still seeing people getting loads of support doing online work. I've looked and looked and done some freelancing but have found nothing permanent. The point with all this is that I know there's money out there and I know there are jobs out there, many of which I am over-qualified for but happy to take at half the pay. I just need a chance.
I'm not trying to make a little extra money to buy my dad a boat or build a better office, I'm trying to be a productive, hard working member of society. I WANT TO PAY TAXES!!! I also want to remember what it's like to have plumbing, to use a flushing toilette would be amazing to me. I want to sit in a chair, a regular chair. I haven't had a chair or a place to put one since 2016, not to mention a table. We have adjusted and readjusted calling it all grateful abundance as we kept on losing more and more. Every time we lose something, we come up with three somethings we are grateful for. Going on five years of positive vibrations and false hopes has been exhausting, yet we persist.
If I'm being honest, I'm edging ever closer to the end of my tether and mostly it's because I know there is a place for us out there in the world. I know there is a job out there, many jobs, that I am more than capable of doing and right now, I feel as though I've tried everything, if you don't believe me, read my blogs and then, if you want to help, please do. Ways to help are all over the sites as well and everything is appreciated. Believe me when I say, we aren't sitting on our hands waiting for miracles, we'd have to believe in them for that. If we didn't actually need help, I wouldn't be humiliating myself and dehumanizing myself further, and for Pete's sake, by choice, if the situation wasn't pretty desperate.
So, yes, if this all seems a little desperate, that's because it is. It's out of my comfort zone but this is just where the times have brought me, I'm a survivor and right now, our survival could use assistance. Which brings me to another point, these are the stories of a survivor, not of a person who has ever been rescued, there was a time I took pride in that. I'd hear of people going through horrible abuse or just horrible times in general and think, I can totally relate to that. Of course then they got adopted, or were handed their dream job on a silver platter or were in some other way, rescued. I have also heard people say, "I'm totally self made. I achieved success without any help at all." Then their Mom comes and drops off groceries and picks up their laundry to take it home and do it for them. There are very few who really DID do it on their own.
Well, clearly I have finally reached a point where I am failing on my own, it's more like a C- or a D grade, not a total fail. So here I am looking for whatever help I can get. I know it's out there. The times have changed as well. I get people who had some troubles "back in the day," they like to proclaim that they were in dire circumstances and managed just fine. They aren't taking into account that back then, you could get a full time job at Dairy Queen and buy a house in less than a year with your Dairy Queen income.
At any rate, it's all here, it's all in these websites. Like I mentioned at the beginning, I didn't scrap everything, I thought that technically, my writing shows some of my progression over time, I used to be so angry, it's kinda funny to read now. So enjoy, have fun, if you can help, great, if not, great, if you are even here I will consider it a miracle. As many explanations as there are planted all over the place on these blog-sites know this, if you still aren't happy with the answers or you want to know more or if you know of a job, feel free to contact me via any of the contact pages on any of these sites.
Your time and consideration are greatly appreciated.